Operation Capture Rufus
by Aisu Yuurei
Summary: Rufus decides to escape from the chores of being president.


Operation Capture Rufus 

The day seemed to be dragging on fairly slow; however, the paperwork was coming in faster than you could say Mako. Rufus was found in the dead center of all this, tapping his pen on a paper and glancing over it for the fifth time. Why the hell did he need to make all these decisions? Why didn't Reeve? He was in charge of the people. He sighed and signed the paper. He shoved the papers off the side of the large desk and slammed his head down. Nope. He wasn't going to make it. Rufus swung the chair around to look out the window. Ah yes, the Slums. They showed signs of freedom. He walked over to the windows and pressed his hands and face against the window. That settled it. He was going. His eyes caught sight of the glass doors not too far away. The coast was clear. No one was in the room, yet. Now was his chance.

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Pounding came on Tseng's door. It sounded as if the person was trying to break down the door. He sat up rubbing his eyes glancing at the door? Who the hell was it?

"Dammit Tseng I know your in there open the door!" the pounding grew louder.

"Give me a minute!" he threw on his Turk uniform and opening the door angrily.

Reeve stood there with a worried, yet very angered look on his face, "The president's gone!"

"WHAT!? How?" he straightened himself out a little.

Tseng pounded on Elena and Rude's door, "Get your asses out here now! Rufus is missing!"

Rude poked his head out of his room with a sleep deprived look, "That's okay I really don't need to sleep."

Elena stepped out without a word and fully dressed and ready. Tseng pounded on Reno's door, but there was no response.

Rude looked at Tseng for a brief moment, "Umm…sir? Reno's out on duties at the moment."

"Just when you really need the little bastard he's gone…figures…who's he doing work for?"

Elena pondered for a moment before talking again, "I belief for Hojo. He mumbled something about not getting a shipment of chemicals on time so he sent Reno out about four hours ago to pick it up in Junon. He should be returning within the hour or so."

Tseng sighed and looked back at Reeve who was talking on the phone. It sounded like Scarlet, because the complaining was quite high. He was trying to calm her, but nothing availed. Rude was watching Elena who was calling up Reno telling him what was going on.

"Reno said that he'll be here in about fifteen minutes."

"Fine. But we need to start looking. In the Slums would be the best, but there are so many places that he could be. We need to stick with a few for now. Any suggestions?" Tseng looked at the other two as they all ran out of the building.

"Well, there are the bars. I'm really doubting that he'd be in the shops, but some people might have seen him if we check the bars first." Rude pushed pasted some of the people.

So they approached the first bar. Not exactly the best place in the world, but never the less this was the first one. Cheap, fragile looking dirt filled place. Most of the neon sign letters were dead, yet still people knew where to find it. They walked in and almost immediately got sucked into the crowd. No sign of Rufus any where. Elena pushed her way to the front of the bar to the counters. A woman in a small slightly puffed out old-fashion bar maidens outfit stood giving drinks to the rowdy guys at the counter. Her light brown hair was back in a bun and her eyes shined a beautiful green.

The women seen her and quickly walked over excitedly, "Hi Elena! What are ya doing here? Ya need work or information?"

Elena smiled and looked at the two Turks looking at the woman, "Hi Lexia! Have you seen a man white uniform? Blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes?"

The woman poured another drink and slid it down the table, "Yes. Yes I did. Although he was messy, his hair was very messy and he had a tight black shirt on and white pants. Looked somewhat familiar; He was in here about an hour ago. He slammed down a quite few drinks and left an unimaginable amount of Gil on the counter. Then walked out into the Slums farther."

Tseng sighed and Elena looked at Lexia, "Thank you very much!"

They all ran out and into the Slums. There were many other places he could be, but they knew that he was probably slightly intoxicated which made matters a little bit easier. They searched for about ten minutes before running into some more clues.

"What a strange man he was, but his eyes were sooooooo gorgeous." A little girl walked by with her mother.

Tseng ran in front of them. They both stopped watching him nervously. Turks never had a very good reputation. When one of them stopped you, it was probably for a good reason.

"Did you see a man with blonde hair? White pants? Black shirt?"

The mother watched Rude and Elena behind him, "Yes. What a strange man. Though he did resemble someone I know...anyway he shouted out that he loved the world and everyone in it. Then he started hugging everyone nearest to him like some crazed lunatic. He'd better watch out about doing that sort of thing though he could be shot. In fact, a few of the people he did hug were part of close-by gangs. Do you know a man nicknamed Knife? I believe that was one of them."

Rude pushed up his sunglasses and remained calm, "I've ran into him a few times before. I know where he is."

Tseng glanced at him and nodded, "Alright then. I trust you'll to lead the way then Rude."

Rude shrugged stuffed his hands into his pockets and walked off like a detective hot on the trail. The city was full of hustle and bustle. Many different people, assortments of music that the ears loved to hear, and all sorts of things that would draw any person in. Rude then came up to a large metal door and knocked on it lightly, so lightly that Tseng was wondering if they heard anything inside. But soon enough the door opened and a man with multiple, multiple piercings peeked out.

"I'm here to see Knife. I was wondering if he would be in?"

The guy smiled and looked at Elena behind him and waved his hand, "Sure thing Rude, Elena please come inside," the guy opened the door the rest of the way, but quickly stood in Tseng's way as he tried to come in, "Sorry. Things in here I can't allow suck-ups like you to see. You're stay here."

So Tseng was left to be stared at by the crowded alley way. Rude and Elena followed the man around the area. Smells of Sex, Drugs, and Alcohol intoxicated them. Loud music played endlessly and neon lights crowded the ceiling. The man then stopped in front of a wooden dart filled door. Elena walked in first, Rude followed close behind. Knife looked at them and stood up from his desk. He was well dressed for living in the slums, of course he got a lot of money from doing different things which you all would probably not like to know. As he smiled at them a few gold teeth shone through, lost in fights, or just because they're just not taken care of.

"Elena, Rude please sit down. What do you need?" he watched them plop in the chairs.

Rude cleared his throat, "A nap would be nice…"

"Well, you can rest in the room down the hall with a few of the girls if you wish…."

His face lit up to a dark shade of red and then shook his head unable to speak.

Elena grinned then looked back at Knife, "We are looking for President Rufus. I'm sure you know that it's him. He…..ran off….from us about an hour ago and the "treasure hunt" has led to you."

"Yes, Rufus…the drunken fool…he wasn't too bad…yes I ran into him about fifteen minutes ago. He hugged me and walked off toward the darker section of this sector. I'm taking a guess for some 'action' or more booze." Knife ran his finger along one of his hoop earrings.

Elena and Rude both stood up at the same time and Elena bowed slightly, "Thank you very much Knife."

"Please, come back again very soon." The words followed them out of the room.

They both found their way out eventually. Tseng was leaning against the wall waiting rather nervously and impatiently. He looked at both of them.

"What's in there I can't see?"  
"Everything and anything anyone could get into trouble for…"

"But it's the best place for information. If you need information off the streets you come here and if it's not here. It doesn't exist." Rude grinned.

"Well, what did they say?"

"We need to look in the biggest party club in this sector."

"Okay, led the way hound dogs."

Rude and Elena both looked at Tseng and sighed. Then they proceeded to walk on through the city. The farther they went through the city, the darker everything looked. Everything was beginning to look very bleak until bright light pierced through the darkness, showing off everything. The night club was in site, and this pleased Tseng, but in a different sense, scared him. Loud music, smells of liquor, and women all over the place. Surly the President wouldn't be here. Would he?

"You really don't think that the president is here do you, Elena?" Tseng looked slightly worried.

Elena looked back at him, "There is a chance, sir."

Tseng swallowed his pride and stepped inside the club. Everything he didn't wish to see was in here. Though he was quite use to it, he'd rather not like to see it anymore, but had to look on for Rufus.

People crowded all over the place, as the Turks stepped into the place they got quite a few looks, they all were to busy to notice any of them. Their eyes were scanning the area for Rufus, who was very good at not staying in one place a long period of time.

"Where the hell have you guys been? I've been here for ten minutes!" Reno casually walked over.

"We were following Rufus around! How did you get here so fast?" Tseng continued to look around.

"Well I thought 'Where's somewhere I would go to get away from everything' and decided this would be the first place I would go."

"No such luck yet?" Elena looked over at Reno.

"Not yet sweets.." he winked at Elena and grinned after she glared at him, "You see anything up there yet, Rude?"

He continued looking for a minute before pointing a small distance into the crowd, "By the poles, I think…"

They pushed their way through the people and eventually over to the poles, most of the crowd was focused on the man in the bikini underwear swinging his shirt above his head, smiling and singing way off tune. Tseng grabbed at him, but miss as Rufus jumped up and flung his legs around the upper half of the pole, he then preceded to lower his head upside down by Tseng's and grin.

"You can't have me, I'm just not that type, but I WILL take that hot young thing next to you." He blew a kiss at Elena.

Elena pushed Tseng out of the way and took Rufus' face and kissed him on the cheek, "I'll give you all you want when we get to my room. That sound fair to you?"

Rufus swung down from the pole and held his arms out to her, "Take me.."

The other three took a few steps closer to Rufus and Elena, but Rufus backed up and jumped off the stand, "But first, I'd like to play a little game," and with that he took off through the crowd.

"Damn, go after him!" Tseng followed after him, "Sir Stop!"

From a little ahead of them he heard, "I'm not sir! I'm Rufio King of the Cave People!"

They all proceeded to follow "Rufio" through the Night Club, until they again lost him. They all split up and looked for him all over again. Reno was the first to run into Rufus again, he seem him run toward the back in the "girl area".

"Rufio? Are you here?" Hello?" he opened one of the doors.

As he peeked in the room, but only seen a blonde women just covered by a sheet. He smiled and entered quickly and shut the door. He walked over to her and sat on the bed.

"Hi. What's a cute girl like you doing all alone?" he wrapped his arm tightly around "her" waist.

She smiled and giggled, "I'm not alone anymore…." She ran her finger down his neck.

Reno grinned. Work could wait, this girl was a big turn on, and even her voice was wonderful. He wrapped his arms around her waist again. She giggled and pushed him back on the bed.

"Close your eyes…" she got off the bed still clutching the sheet.

He then obeyed and closed his eyes tightly. He could feel her hand pull on his zipper, a pause then…

"AHHHH THAT'S COLD!!!" he shot up and reached into his pants grabbing out the large chunk of ice that was in there and threw it.

"Serves you right! Playing on duty!" the girl dropped the sheet to reveal a guy in black bikini underwear, "I'm telling!!! TSENG! TSENG! He touched me! He touched me!" and with that Rufus ran out.

So the next person he ran into was Tseng. He ran up to him and wrapped his arms around his waist and started crying hysterically. Tseng looked at him.

"What's wrong, sir?!" he glanced over him.

"I…..it's Reno…he's dying..." he started crying again.

"HE'S WHAT!?!" Tseng moved Rufus aside and ran off to see Reno.

Rufus wiped his eyes and walked off casually. Tseng was such a loyal little bastard, and that's the only thing that's wrong with him. Rude and Elena were the tricky ones. He didn't know if they would fall for the same things that the other two did. Rude was easily spotted in the crowd, and hopefully he wasn't. Elena, however, was no where in site. Tseng was coming back angry, yet, very worried. Reno, was walking funny, however, he was still looking.

Elena was peering through the crowd, carefully inspecting the blondes of the crowd. Not finding him from where she was, she moved to the other side of the large room. Seeing Rude she walked over by him.

"Nothing yet?" she continued to search over the crowd.

Rude shook his head,"Reno and Tseng ran into him, seems he's completely drunk."

Elena sighed and walked off, Rude stayed where he was having the feeling Rufus would be through this point. He casually leaned up against the wall and waited. Sure enough Rufus walked through in...a black bikini? Rude walked up in front of Rufus and put his hand on his shoulder.

Rufus glanced at the hand then slowly followed it up the arm and looked Rude in the eyes with a completely serious look,"Let go of me. I'm fine."

"But sir, your drunk, you need to go home."

"I am your superior you have to do what I say."

"But how can I take you so serious if your drunk and in a bikini?"

Rufus paused for a minute then looked up at him and grinned,"Fine then I'll just have to play dirty," with that said he sunk his teeth in Rude's arm.

Rude pulled away resisting the urge to smack back. Rufus darted into the crowd quickly vanishing among the people. Rude followed after signaling to the others. They all ran into the crowd. Try as they might they couldn't catch him, trying everything from bribing to attempting to just knocking him unconcious. After a while they all sat down and took a break.

"Seriously, I think that the booze around here must be packed with drugs..." Reno collapsed in a chair next to Rude.

Rude nodded and watched Elena pull herself from the crowd and sit next to Tseng. It was then that Reeve walked from the crowd with Rufus dressed and following loyally behind him. They all watched in complete and utter amazement, as Reeve walked over to them.

"I send you all here to look for the President and here I find you relaxing. Really now what kind of Turks are you?" he crossed his arms and looked over them.

"What the hell man? W...how did you get him? Reno stood up quickly glaring at Rufus.

Reeve looked at them with a purely serious look and blankly said,"I asked him if he would please come back with me..."

They all glared at him then at Rufus. As Reeve began to walk to the exit of the building when they pulled Rufus to the side and questioned why he decided to follow Reeve's instructions rather than theirs.

Rufus just looked at them and smiled then simply said,"You never said please," and continued on after Reeve.

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**Notes: **Yes, we all know Rufus is nothing like this, but I figured he needed to have a little fun. This is out of my many years of writing the first story I've ever finished! I'm so proud of myself. pats back


End file.
